Cobblestone Life

{November 16, 2008}   Season of my discontent day 2

Dear John,

You would have been 39 years old today.  There is almost no reason to believe that you ever would have seen this age, still, you were gone too soon.  Your namesake asked your youngest brother about you the other day.  He was heartbroken to learn that he couldn’t call you and talk to you.

You are loved, and missed.  Always, all ways.


{November 15, 2008}   half done

I have made it half way through NaBloPoMo and it is James Bond day !!  WHoo hoo!!

{November 14, 2008}   ED

Most of my trips to the ED have been because a better / more cost-effective choice was closed.  Same with last night.  I had talked to JC’s doctor’s office and they said do X at one temperature and Y {aka the ED} at another.  Then called back and said, “just call us if it gets to X”.  Ok, no problem, especially since what I was looking for was some sort of idea about when an infant temperature escalates to OMG status.

At 1a, Mister takes a diaper / temp shift because I hadn’t slept much yet in the night.  The next thing I heard was, “get dressed” because we had slept through X and gotten straight to Y.  Damn.  Ok.  Called to doctor’s office who sent us to the ED.  We got good care and good advice, and we watched JC’s fever break because by the time we got through with the trip he was back to normal.

Mister has a tough time with the cost and behavior of medical professionals, but overall he was ok with this trip.  Still, neither of us liked watching JC get cath’d TWICE to check for a UTI.  The only downside to the whole night was, “I see the problem, JC isn’t circumcised”.  I know what the RN *wanted* to say was, “I see why this is tougher than usual” but it just came out.  WRONG.  Ah well.  Overall, a very good experience.

{November 13, 2008}   not tonight

JC is trying to have his first fever.  Family time tonight.  Five sentences again tomorrow!

{November 12, 2008}   tidbit

Two things –

1.  Why hasn’t Sarah Palin gone away from the cameras yet?  Doesn’t she have a job in Alaska?

2.  I wonder if Obama wishes he hadn’t said to the whole world that his daughters were getting a dog, since everybody and their brother seems to have an opinion about what kind of dog it should be.


Tough to imagine that was 12 weeks ago.

Tough to imagine that was 12 weeks ago.

 Ok, just a little mush for fun.

{November 11, 2008}   What 45 minutes can do!

This morning Mister totally justified his existance.  The wake-up around here starts at 3:30 or 4a right now.  Eat, diaper, eat, nap, thrash, mumble, nap, and on and on.  I can doze for most of it but I may have underestimated how little I am sleeping then.  This morning JC fell into a deep nap and Mister facilitated an extra 45 minutes for me.  It was GRAND!  I was working all day without the drifting that has invaded my work day.  Granted, getting JC out the door was … a little crazy, but I am so grateful to have had an extra chunk of sleep that really got me through the day.

Love ya Mister!

{November 10, 2008}   I deserve this.

I deserve 10 minutes to barf up 5 sentences about my day.

Still, right now, I don’t care too much about it.  I’m tired.  These 10 minutes could be spent at breakneck speed trying to tidy up the house so that when Mister and JC get home I don’t have to think about anything other than putting JC to bed {which is about all we’ll have time for tonight}.

I marvel at how tired I am even though I spend 10 hours in bed at night.  I am astonished at how much stuff I just *did* before is now down to split second timing, Mister tending JC while I get ready for bed and that sort of thing.  JC is starting to giggle, and just in time.  I think that infant development coincides parental exhaustion and that JC busts out a new trick everytime his parents really really need one.

{November 9, 2008}   Who was I kidding?

At least I got the list written yesterday.  I have the sinking suspicion that this Christmas will be me and a wallet full of $20s just handing them out with a bow straight out of the bag of bows I got at the grocery store.

This weekend has been tough, I need to be real and honest with myself about how effective I am being at trying to stay healthy mentally.  Right now I think I’m doing ok, but I’m not as good as I was a week or two ago.

Oh, and my cat has worms, likely tapeworms.  This is especially obnoxious because he is an indoor cat and all the other animals of the house are inside outside animals.  ARGH.  Because I’ve got time to get to the vet???!!!!

{November 8, 2008}   14 hours in bed

I spent 14 hours in bed, I’ll say I got 9-10 hours sleep total.  My brain is in better shape than it has been in weeks.  So I will take on the following tasks today –

  • How to get an extra hour three times a week so that I can go running.
  • What *everybody* gets for Christmas and get as many ordered as possible.
  • How will we get to homestate for Christmas {800 miles – drive or fly??}
  • How the #$!^Y! to get real meals at dinner AND be able to relax for 15 minutes during the week.

Any bets on how many I will actually get through?

{November 7, 2008}   With this ring …

My first marriage involved a lot of jewelry. His second gift to me while dating was a ring, as were most other gifts as we dated. We had necklaces that we wore when we slept apart, he bought an engagement-period ring for him and identical wedding rings {down to the size}. In 5 years of marriage I can count the number of times the ring came off with one hand. When his trips to the hospital were too numerous or too spontaneous I would wear both of our wedding bands stacked on my finger. Our sleep-apart necklaces were cremated with him. When I was ready to take my own wedding ring off I did, but wore his on my right hand for months.

The jewelry of this marriage is much different. I got a small diamond necklace for our engagement that I picked out online and watched him buy. It was delivered to me on our way out the door to see the plastic body museum exhibit. My wedding ring was a hunt through antique stores that I did on my own. Mister has never been a fan of rings so eventually he selected a bracelet to wear. The bracelet chipped after a few months, the pregnancy eventually had the ring off my finger and honestly, I haven’t been terribly inclined to put it back on.

Monday I replaced my pretty, antique, lily ring with a simple band. I wore it out of the store with less WOW! Than a kid wearing the new shoes that will make her FASTER THAN ANYBODY! I told Mister about it after the fact, and he wondered aloud if I wanted him to look into something similar. I struggled with how to tell him that I didn’t care one way or the other. Is it resignation, evolution, appreciation? I don’t know, but somehow it still makes me sad.

et cetera